A Date With My Daughter

A few weeks ago our older kids went to see their grandparents.  That left my husband and me with just one baby.  We laughed at how difficult we once thought one baby was.  Now we see life differently and having one baby in our house felt like a vacation.

"Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds".

Proverbs 27:23

We enjoyed our baby and our time together and lots of days sleeping in.  Our baby slept until 8:30 most mornings (so not the norm with our other two 7am risers).  We enjoyed our baby in ways we never knew.  He had our undivided attention 24/7.  He learned things about us and we learned things about him.

It made us think a lot about our children's needs for one on one time with us.  It made us think a lot about our needs for one on one time with our children.  We even talked about once a year letting them each have a week at home as the only child.

While our daughter was away, she kept telling her MiMi that she and her mommy go on dates.  We do go on dates.  I really try hard to do something with just "the girls" even if it is just a trip to the grocery store.  When she returned home from MiMi's first thing she asked was to go on a date with mommy.

So we ate dinner one night with the boys and then jumped in the car for a mommy/daughter date.  She chose the library and a few swings and twirls in the park.  I helped her finish out her date by suggesting milk and a cake pop at Starbucks.  Mommy always enjoys an excuse for a cup of coffee.

We had the best time.  She held my hand and I held hers back with deep intentionality (not just trying to save her from the cars in the parking lot).  We skipped.  She looked up at me and said, "I love you mommy and our just girl dates".  She checked scanned books out at the library.  I pushed her in the swing at the park and enjoyed her little giggle.  We danced in the parks open field and when she had to go the bathroom (cause don't they always) we raced to see who could get there the fastest.

She carefully selected her milk at Starbucks and asked the lady for no less than a pink cake pop.  When we got to the table she sat across from me, took one bite out of the cake pop and said, "This is so good.  Mommy would you like a bite"?  I love how she savors every moment and is extremely generous.

Intentional.  That is what I want to be with my children.  It is easy to lose who they are individually in the mundane of our everyday.  It is easy for me to wish they were just all the same and fit them into a box nicely.  But they are all very different from one another.  I don't want to miss out on who they are.  I don't want to miss out on their dreams.  I do not want to miss out on the little detail of each one of them.

Dates with your children don't have to cost one penny.  At the end of the day there is no amount of money that can replace the time we spent with our children.  Dates with your children are most fun when you let them choose how to spend the time together.  It may not be the most fun activity for you but will give you deep insight into what is going on in their little mind.

God's been speaking to me a lot about the intentional individual time I spend with my children.  He has been talking to me a lot about not lumping them together.  For me, a once a month intentional date with my children is what I can balance right now.

What about you?  Do you spend intentional individual time with your children?  What does it look like?  How often do you do it?  How has it changed your relationship with him/her?  What ways do you hope it will change your relationship with him/her?